Because Awesomeness Ain’t Easy

Written from my studio in Mumbai on January 17, 2014

So I'm rebranding my blog from "Soulsearching: The Journey Home" to "The Audacity of Awesome(ness)". Kind of like Justin Bieber when he changed his hair cut. 

Still Searching, Still Journeying…

The idea of finding my way home weighed heavily on me when I started this blog. Mistakenly, most readers of my first entry assumed I was seeking a geographical home as I weaved through the story of my life using the places I have lived as a metaphorical backdrop to my spiritual state. I am a little bit more complicated than that. What I seek is that sense of peace and belonging that we all feel when we are in the comfort of our own homes. A home for my restless soul.

I wrote my first blog entry on November 15, 2013. Two months later I am still restless, unsettled and homeless. I have read all the self-help articles on the internet and started several spiritual practices to figure myself out. Something within me still seems off despite my efforts. I feel as though someone took a vacuum cleaner and sucked the essence out of my being. I am perfectly functional on the outside but exist as a vast desert of emptiness on the inside.

If the brilliant minds of our species ever constructed a perfect robotic replica of the real Henry with all his memories and replaced him, I could be that robot. It is frightening to think about feeling this emptiness for the rest of my life. What good is a Pepsi can after its contents are consumed?

So What Does Any of That Have to Do with Rebranding?

My attention is slowly beginning to shift away from my internal struggle and outward towards the awesomeness of life. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what went missing and how that happened. Maybe I gave up on the search, or I accepted my empty existence, but my notion of soul searching is becoming obsolete. The space created through this change is starting to be filled with thoughts of the really awesome shit I could do with my life, and with it, reasons to not do it.

This awesome new brand is awesomely endorsed by this awesome urban goat...

Being Awesome is Audacious

I am realizing every day how hard it really is to live in integrity with myself. I spend so much time and energy distracting myself from doing the kinds of things that actually matter to me. Even when that inner voice finally makes it through the noise to tell me what I need to do, I will come up with all sorts of reasons to shut it down again. People will judge me for being me. It’s easier to turn off my brain and watch TV. I don’t have enough money to do that. I can’t leave the house because my plants need to be watered. Even this blog is a distraction from the awesome day I am planning tomorrow.

While meditating in a nearby Catholic church on the finiteness of existence, I discovered two building blocks to living an awesome life: conscientiousness and courage. The conscientiousness to listen to my inner voice. The courage to act on what I hear. I just need to listen, act and be awesome.

My best friend Andrew is deciding to leave a good respectable job as a civil engineer to go pick cherries on an orchard in British Columbia. Why? Because he wants to. Awesome. 

Check out Andrew's blog here: http://allineedismy2barefeet.blogspot.ca/