Surviving My First Ramadan

I had absolutely no intentions whatsoever to fast for Ramadan - I thought the whole notion of giving up food for an entire month was absolutely completely ridiculous. Who would want to go a month without one of the best things ever?

Well, I was up against Benje, the most persuasive man in the universe and before I knew it I was committed to a two day trial of fasting. So here's how it works: during Ramadan you can eat from sunset to sunrise, which is in Pakistan from 7 PM to 3 AM. Even water is not allowed.

I decided to keep a log, in minute detail, of my first's days struggle of fasting.

2:13 am: Can't sleep, freaking out

*Iqbal (the live-in in office caretaker at AMC) knocks on my door with breakfast, I'm up anyway*

2:45 am: Aaaaggghhhhh!!! (half battle cry half groan)

3:15 am: Fuck I have 10 minutes before I'm out of time for eating and this oatmeal isn't going down fast enough. Eating at 3 am is so unnatural

3:22 am: 2 minutes!!! I think I have To fridge the oatmeal

3:24 am: Times up. Just downed 3 glasses of water on top of all that food, I feel nauseous

3:25 am: I can hear prayers from the nearby mosques. These guys run like clockwork

3:29 am: Getting ready for bed again, this experience kind of feels like the 10 day vipasana meditation I did

3am breakfast

8:45 am: Late alarm, snooze

9:02 am: No water for 10 hours... Okay I can do this

10:30 am: Got up to get a glass of water, realized that I needed to sit my butt down

11:51 am: I'm hungry, when's lunch? Oh… right

2:41 pm: Soooo… hungry…

4:12 pm: Productivity = 0....

4:52 pm: Time to leave for my first Ifthar at the Amal Academy!

5:01 pm: Everything looks so edible. Like that bottle of honey. I can down an entire bottle of honey right now

6:00 pm: I see dim sum when I close my eyes. It's so steaming hot and fresh off the tray

6:01 pm: Open your eyes Henry!!

7:41 pm: This is so weird. I am hungry and I want to keep eating but I can't

9:53 pm: Time to load up on water. Right before bedtime.

11:03 pm: Okay and finally shutting down for bed! That's my first fast.... Was tough but not nearly as much as I thought it would be

2:41 am: Here we go again!! Grateful my electricity load shedding schedule lines up with this

The breaking of fast is called Ifthar and Benje was kind enough to host one at the Amal Academy with the storm of a feast prepared by his program director Sarah. We kicked things off with a meditation followed by a brief podcast on the purpose of Ramadan, a holy time in Islam that represents community, spiritual purification, and an empathetic immersion in what it is like to be someone less fortunate. It is a beautiful practice of spirituality and I have so much respect for the billion plus Muslims who do this every single year.

Too busy stuffing my face to take this picture, I think this photo credit goes to Benje

After I completed my two day commitment, I decided to go the whole mile for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to immerse in a global immersion and spirituality alongside others who are doing exactly the same thing, and maybe learn a little bit more about myself and the world around me in the process. #Benjesfault.

In the spirit of community, a few of my colleagues at AMC decided have Ifthar at the office every single night. Some of my fondest memories of Ramadan were waiting in excruciating agony through the final mile and at last dining with them at the end of a long day of fasting. I learned that the hardest part about fasting wasn't actually about the fasting, but around managing high spirits through a really messed up sleep cycle that starts with breakfast every morning at 2:30 AM. Ramadan is also a team effort where there were times when I would wake up Iqbal to make sure he didn't miss his breakfast window.

Friends who I can starve with (left to right) Ahmad, Iqbal, Ammar and Iram

The end of Ramadan is supposed to culminate in Eid, a massive celebration comprising of eating nonstop, but I had a fairly anti-climatic end to my month of fasting in terms of eating and drinking. I traveled to the northern areas of Pakistan where the Ismaili community in that region doesn't unanimously fast through Ramadan. My friend Saad graciously organized the entire journey and it was an adventure of a lifetime. However, travelling through Eid on the way back was a feat of epic endurance in itself and I found myself without food for a whole 29 hour journey as a means of avoiding getting sick in the wind the cliff hanging mountain roads.

Four hour traffic jam caused by a landslide up ahead

The rewards of an epic journey

Arranging for transportation towards the end of Eid was near impossible and Saad saved my ass so many times. When I arrived to Islamabad, no public transportation was running so I had to spend an unexpected night at a hotel where I was eaten alive by bedbugs.

Not my usual irresistably attractive self after a 29 hour journey without food

While I had a bit of a different experience than I should have had because of my travels, and may have lost out on a spiritual awakening because of it, I will always look back on Ramadan with fondness. It really is a time when people come together to share a common humanity and struggle, and to empathize with those who have less in the world. It is also time of self-control, to learn much about oneself and what one is capable of in separating the temptations of the world from what is truly necessary to live a full life. It is also a personal practice, much like anything else to do with spirituality, the eye of beholder is empowered to choose what they how far they are willing to go in service of reaching spiritual enlightenment.

Not only did I miss out the proper way to finish off Eid, but upon returning my colleagues have compiled a very creative way to make sure that they get their Eidi which is the Muslim version of Chinese red pockets. Blast!

So with that, I wish everybody a much belated Eid Mubarak!